


Silent Treatment

by endforeternity



Series: Tales from James Franco's House [2]
Category: This Is the End (2013)
Genre: Gen, grown men acting like children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-29 04:22:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1000840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endforeternity/pseuds/endforeternity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The silent treatment had begun only an hour ago after Danny had wasted all their water again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silent Treatment

**Author's Note:**

> Just the idea of James and Danny bringing their fighting down to childish proportions seemed fitting, and I couldn't get the image out of my head.

“Jonah – would you kindly tell Danny to get his feet off my table.”

Franco’s eyeing Danny’s feet in disgust, definitely not appreciating the sight of his smelly socks touching his dining room table. Danny is pretending to ignore him, flipping through a book he took from Franco’s library. The silent treatment had begun only an hour ago after Danny had wasted all their water again. Everyone’s thirsty and awkward and angry with Danny and no one wants to be near him. Franco is seething with anger and refuses to talk directly to him because all he wants to do is kill him. After the very heated argument they had over porno mags and ejaculation (“you could say it was ‘explosive,’” Seth had joked awkwardly), it’s clear that the two are never going to be friends.

Franco looks at Jonah and expects him to repeat what he just said and Jonah is only too happy to oblige.

"Danny? James would like it very much if you didn't put your feet on the table," he sounds polite and friendly but Jay sees right through him and rolls his eyes, buries his face in a copy of _The Iliad_.

Danny finds it ridiculous that Jonah is willing to be a parrot but can't resist snapping back, "Will you please tell James that I refuse because I do what I fucking want."

Everyone glances at Franco as Jonah rephrases, "Danny feels that he has the freedom to put his feet on your table."

Franco glares daggers directly at Jonah, "Well tell Danny that it’s my house and my fucking rules, and people eat off that table."

"James says as the host of the house it is his duty to tell you that it's unsanitary to put your feet on that table."

"Ask James who fucking died and made him queen, shit..."

"Um...who decided that you were in charge?" Jonah bites his lip as Craig utters an “Oooohh, snap.”

Franco frowns. "Tell Danny that it’s simple common courtesy and that somebody's gotta keep the peace around here and he's not pulling his fucking weight."

Danny scoffs and shakes his head as Jonah says, "James says it is common courtesy to not put your feet there and that it’s best if there's some kind structure for us to keep civilized. He also feels that you do not agree."

"Damn right I don't. Tell James that his rules are stupid and I refuse to follow them."

"Danny doesn't agree with your rules and therefore will not follow them," Jonah repeats, and Franco looks as if the vessels in his brain could burst any minute.

"Seth! Back me up on this!" He turns to Seth, who shrugs his shoulders with wide eyes, afraid at this point to take sides. Franco turns back to Jonah and huffs, "tell Danny to take his fucking feet off the goddamn table or he'll be sorry!"

"Danny-" Jonah begins but Danny cuts him off.

"Ask James if that's a warning," he glares. Jonah starts to repeat but Franco interrupts.

"Inform Danny that it’s a fucking threat," he leans forward, pointing the gun at Danny's feet.

Danny looks downright insulted and everyone waits for his usual verbal attack. He’s sure to come up with a doozy, a real zinger to put Franco in his place. But after a long pause he leans forward and starts to peel off his socks slowly.

"Oh god, stop it! Tell him to fucking stop!" Franco wrinkles his nose and everyone groans as they can hear the sticky sound of the socks being pulled off flesh.

"Dude! That's grooooss!" Jay covers his face with the book, as if it somehow shields him from the smell, and Craig and Seth shout in protest at Danny’s actions.

 “Too far, man! Too far!” Craig fans his face with a magazine.

“Ugh! I can taste it! I can taste the smell in my throat!” Seth cries, gagging in the corner.

Danny lets out a satisfied "ahhh!" as he drops the last sock on the table, the rancid smell of days old socks filling the air.

“You are fucking _disgusting_!” Franco yells directly at Danny and Danny suddenly kicks his feet repeatedly on the table in victory.

“HA!! He spoke to me! He spoke first! That means I WIN!” Danny continues to celebrate as everyone backs away from the smell, everyone but Franco who’s visibly enraged at the man.

“You didn’t fucking-” Franco shakes his arms in frustration, pissed that he’s the first to break the silent treatment that he had started. “Tell Danny he’s being a fucking child about this!”

“Tell Franco that he’s the one acting like a child and he needs to grow the fuck up and take his loss like a man,” Danny kicks his feet in the air, wafting the stench around. “Take it in, friends. The smell of victory!”

“For fuck’s sake, tell Danny to get his fucking feet off my goddamn table!” Franco continues to yell, and no one’s sure why he’s still talking like that but Danny falls back into it too when he replies, “Tell James to come and make me.”

Jonah’s no longer translating as the two bicker back and forth directly now. "Tell Danny to stop being an asshole before I shoot this motherfucker!”

Danny gestures towards his crotch, unphased. "Tell James he can suck my dick!"

Franco’s offended beyond belief, "Tell Danny that I would never suck his dick if it was the last fucking dick in the world!"

"Well tell James-"

"For fuck's sake, both of you just shut the hell up!!" Jay yells, his sanity finally broken listening to these two yahoos for the last hour. “Both of you, separate rooms. Now!”

“Jay’s right, you two need some time apart to cool down,” Jonah agrees, and for once Jay doesn’t feel the need to strike him.

“I’ll calm down, if James stops being so goddamn rude to me,” Danny huffs, finally taking his feet off the table as he leans forward in his chair.

Franco’s heaving his chest as he says, “I’d cool down too – if we still had some fucking WATER!”

Danny starts yelling defensively and Franco gets in his face as they continue to argue. The others throw up their hands in exasperation and leave the two in the room to tear each other apart, seeing as nothing is going to stop them. The fighting goes on until doors are slammed and walls are pounded and eventually a quiet sets in with nightfall. The others hope it’s come to a close, but they find out soon enough that it’s far from over when Franco approaches them that night after Danny’s asleep with a final decision.

“Let’s get rid of him.”


End file.
